Saturday 9th May 2020

“I will find my way, if I can be strong.” – Go The Distance

I very nearly didn’t publish this blog post. I very nearly didn’t go live on Facebook. It’s taken so much in me to pull myself together and share what’s gone on today, because I really don’t want to, so I won’t. But, you need to know that’s it been a hugely difficult day for us.

I don’t want to worry anybody, so I also want you to know that we are all safe. It’s been a day that’s been a long time coming, but has been emotionally draining. So draining and hollowing that your eyes start to be sore from crying. It has nothing to do with lockdown and no matter what the situation out in the real world it would’ve caused the same upset. Today hurt.

I didn’t eat much today. A few Malteaser truffles and a few bites out of the chicken and bacon and a nibble or two of the stuffed pepper. You’d have thought I’d have been hungry from not eating anything, but I just couldn’t stomach anything.

I didn’t take any photos today, but we did go on an evening walk along Benidorm. There are so many more people about and it just feels so close. I don’t enjoy the evening walk like I do the morning walk, it doesn’t feel right. We have so little cases of COVID19 in this province of Spain, but still it makes me anxious. I’m so glad I pulled myself together to do the Facebook live, it meant we were able to check in with everybody and say good evening. Rio met some dog friends on his walk, he met this little chihuahua which was hilarious running along the street with him.

We played some brawl stars, it’s the championship weekend, and we nearly finally got all 15 stages completed (you only get four lives!) . We got 12 out of 15 and I swear one month we will do it. I also did my languages and FaceTimed my friend.

I decided to host a little competition for a bit of fun on my Facebook page. Jenny was the winner commenting that “go the distance” is my absolute favourite Disney song. When we’re allowed to do movement in phase 1, we’ll send her a little gift as a thank you for following my blog, and knowing my favourite song.

I’m sorry this blog probably wasn’t as interesting as you’d have hoped. Or maybe it brings you some comfort knowing that if you are sad, or lonely or feeling helpless – you’re not alone. Now more than ever, we all need to come together and be kind. You never know what’s going on. Although this blog wasn’t what I had imagined the big day 50 being like (I dunno why I imagined doing something really cool and quirky to commemorate 50 days) instead it will be one I want to forget. Thank you for having patience with me and for brightening up my day, everyday, even on days like this one.

All my love,

L x